dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize