Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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