Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize