somebody snuck up and got me drunk
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize