I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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