1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize