I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize