he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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