It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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