sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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