he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
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I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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