Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize