I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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