Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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