My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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