Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Please don't give away my fajitas
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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