No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sorry about my life...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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