dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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