We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize