for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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