is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize