Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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