i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize