I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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