I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just invented taco cereal.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize