Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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