i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
