I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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