I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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