got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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