We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
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No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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