ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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