i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize