i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize