While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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