She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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