The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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