Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize