need another drink. this is the easiest way
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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