what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize