Someone shit on the floor
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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