I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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