I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize