i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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