I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you had me at cake vodka
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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