she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
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I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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