If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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