Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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