I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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