i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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